I know I need to look at this is the closure I need. But I still love him so much. I feel like a fool because he has given me no reason to love him. There is no reason. Yet I still do. I don't want to be divorced from him.

But I also realize that at this point, there is nothing more I can do. I have tried everything. I always wondered why people stayed separated for so long rather than just get divorced once they split. Now I know.

I am not sure what I expected to happen. I suppose deep down I always knew this would happen, but now it is time I really face it.

Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..