HOW? You make decisions for you and YOU only and not factor in what your W would think.
How your W (or anybody for that matter) takes what you do is not within your control. You base every move you make on your W's potential reaction.
Yes, detach first. You may or may not reconcile but the only way to reconcile is to detach from the situation so *if* you do reconcile, you are in a much healthier/different/stronger place.
Your decision making skills have not changed or improved. You are unable to manage stress and control your worry, you have said countless times you are not happy alone and you are sick of this life. None of this things are "WOW, Kevin is GREAT husband material".
While you may not sit up at night and think of ways to manipulate the situation, you do. You know damn good and well BOTH your kids will do whatever they can do get "family time" with you and your W. So it is *real* easy to say you gave your little daughter the choice on her b-day about dinner at the crab place or "family time" because a blind and deaf fool would know she would pick family time. It was not for her or not ALL for her, giving her the choice when you knew what she was going to pick suited you just fine.
Once you start to detach in a healthy way it will be much easier for you to set boundaries.
HELL, you can't even set a boundary for YOURSELF and take her off of your phone.
