It was up to my wife to keep her promises and I was not to remind her or step in if my wife choose not to keep her promises. The therapist asked us to email her halfway to our next session and provide her with an update on which of the things we had done.
Interesting. I wouldn't have predicted that. But your therapist seems to be so excellent that I wouldn't even question it for now. I'd trust her a great deal.
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I like your idea about the heart rate and blood pressure measurement, but think I will not bring those up. But as you suggested, I'll bet the readings would go sky high anytime touching, sex or getting naked are approached.
No . . . it would be interesting, but it would be a very bad idea. And I don't think we'd be surprised at the outcome. Your therapist may be trying to keep your wife from using her fear as an excuse not to improve the marriage, which is good. But I think it's good that you have an understanding of how frightened she is, because it's hard to to be bitter and angry in this situation. Again, there's a balance to be found between the kind of bitterness that slowly makes you hate your wife and want to walk away on the one hand, and the kind of weakness that makes you want to tell her it's OK and hold her hand when she's hurting you.
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I am really impressed with the sex therapist we are seeing and feel she is a no-nonsense lady who isn't going to let my wife (or me) play any games. I am so happy about that!
Really . . . I don't know if you realize how hard that is to find. There are no sex therapists within an hour and a half of my home, as far as I can tell, and I live halfway between two major cities and very near our state capital. If you've seen others talking about trying to find a sex therapist (or a marriage counselor who would rather save a marriage than guide people through a really aware, amicable divorce) you probably do realize it. I wish you could recommend this therapist, but I realize that might compromise your own anonymity (and what would your wife's reaction to that be?)
