Next steps

[pearlharbr]

avermont, I hesitate to post to you for fear of how you'll take it, but since you referenced me on LFA's thread I feel the need to clear some things up.

First of all, there are no guarantees in DBing. MWD says that plainly in the books. You can DB your ass off and still end up alone because some Rs can't be saved. That's why it's so important to work on yourself so that you are fine no matter what happens.

Secondly, no, you didn't do everything right. You have not let go. You say you have but you're not even close to being detached. The opposite of love is indifference and clearly you're far from being indifferent.

You have every right to be angry about the sitch. I was livid at the thought of having BF move OW into our house. But I reached the point where I decided I was done. Taking care of myself and putting myself first was more important than any feelings of hurt over a house.

Life isn't fair. Bad things happen to good people. How you deal with these things is your choice and defines who you are as a person.

You are on an emotional roller coaster because you choose to be on it. You can get off at any time. You can wallow in self-pity due to the poor choices your partner made or you can make your own choices that give you the best life possible.

Fight for the house if that's what you want. I would never advocate for anyone to just roll over and give in to what the WAS wants out of appeasement. But if you're doing it strictly out of spite then you're also hurting yourself by keeping yourself mired in the muck of the R breakdown. There is no shame in moving to another place and starting over if that's what you want (I love love love Vancouver, BTW). Think about what you really want for the rest of your life now that X is out of the picture.