I have noticed that many trained psychologists treat depression without noticing that the symptoms of mania are manifesting too. Perhaps it's just because we feel happy (to the extent of being delusional I might add) when we are manic. I was seen on three separate occasions by IC's and none of them picked up on my bipolar disorder. It was not until one of my lucid (neither manic nor depressed) times that I realized I must be ill and did enough research to discover a likely culprit. Of course, when I approached an IC (one who had previously diagnosed me with only depression) with my suspicions she almost immediately agreed that I am, indeed, bipolar. Ironic, eh?
I am glad you are moving forward and seem to have a more positive outlook. Believing things can get better is pretty imperative to making them better.
As for
Quote:
That is fine by me, but when she does she will know the ugly disgusting truth and it will destroy us yet again.
I am not positive that this has to be the case. If and when she is ready to reconcile you will both have confessions and healing to do. And if you are both careful and sincere I believe you can do it without decimating your relationship again.
I don't think it is selfish to believe in second chances or hope for them as long as we understand that they are not an entitlement. It is earned and a privilege, not a right. And the fact that we are willing to forgive is in part because we hope for forgiveness ourselves.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
undefeated 24 H 24 S's 4, 2, 1 M 5 yrs
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." ~Dale Carnegie
