Mindfull. This is one of the drawbacks to your style of DB'ing. You get to a point where you give up.

If your going to give up then force the issue and lock away a little love for him.

Heal and if he comes back. You are in the proper frame of mind to deal with him and set healthy boundaries to build a new relationship.

Most of the list of fears can be overcome if you want to overcome them.

Your childrens relationship with your dad will be determined by them. Not you.

Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!