How do I expose the affair

[avermont]

Just jumping in here--sorry for the thread jacking.

What's breaking my heart right now is the failure of all the DB'ing, and the faint hopes I had pinned on the affair dying out. Apparently all is well in affair land, and they are both dreaming of how they will re-decorate the house, once that little inconvenience of a 23 year partner (old, drab, so not exciting compared to OW) is out of the way.

I know, I know, the DB'ing is for me. And I do have a life, and I have kept busy, and started training for a half marathon, and all sorts of good things for myself.

But, still, the lack of any process, and closure, and discussion, is just killer.

So who out there is still putting any stock in the statistics about how long affairs last?

All the advice you are getting here is good--it is all about protecting yourself and building your new life. I sound terrible and bitter here, but following these boards has been a life saver these few months.

If you can expose the affair and then go dark, do it. It will be best for you, and may work well for your M.

Best of courage and strength to you!