And now for some real DBing advice, so rare on this thread for some reason.
This thread, and Kevin's threads in particular, have more "real DB'ing advice" on them than most, if not all, other threads on this board!
I could not agree more Antlers.
Jon - you are free to express your opinion, but I think you are being a bit like Kevin in believing a lot of good advice given to Kevin as being non-DB. I believe you are in a way enabling Kevin to continue hoping too much when he needs to stop analyzing so many fine details of interactions with his W.
Kevin - if you dont change, man up and show some tough love and boundaries, I can guarantee you will be divorced or hitting a much more unstable rock bottom emotionally from all of this. Your W throws you crumbs of hope and you hang on them. That is not healthy or attractive. Go see a therapist on a regular basis to learn techniques on how to detach and not continue your vicious cycles of codependence. Talk is easy. You can write all you want about what you want to do, but it is actions that speak the loudest.
You need to live a mantra...
My wife is gone. I dont need my wife, but I want my wife.
My marriage is over. I dont need my marriage, but I want my marriage.
