So today I'm just keeping those wedding rings in mind to keep my PMA. I am lucky for that and I'm lucky he's separating, but not divorcing.
And you're right LR - it could be embarassment. H has a huge insecurity around coming across perfect so "forgetting" could be a defense mechanism against facing feelings of shame, guilt, who knows. I think it's true in your H's case too. He's too embarassed to admit his vulnerable feelings. Remember men are sometimes like this (sorry to assume, guys) and aren't we all at some points?
A bit of crazy this morning. S has a tantrum on the way out the door - I feel frustrated b/c we're going to be late. H pops his head out the door and says, "I need you to speak calmly to S. Getting in a shouting match with him won't help."
I laughed internally and said, "Are you telling me what I told you last night?" then decided I would role model how I want to be treated and said, "Thanks for the reminder."
What I was screaming in my head was "REALLY? ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU DO ON AN ALMOST CONSTANT BASIS? ISN'T THAT THE REASON I HAD TO REMOVE S FROM THE HOUSE THE OTHER NIGHT? YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS?"
But ODP was in full gear.
And the positive is, he's getting that this is the way to discipline S, instead of telling me my way is WRONG. He must have heard me last night. Still childish he has to turn it immediately on me to say, "See? You do it too>" on the other hand, I didn't realize I was raising my voice. I do appreciate the reminder if I'm losing my cool.
It just gets my goat coming from Mr. Screamer.
But if in the end S gets two parents who are reminding each other (and themselves) to discipline calmer, that's great.
Maybe I can work this into our relationship too as it's my greatest need to feel safe that H can be calm.
