That's ok... just follow OW then. IF they aren't separated she will lead you to him eventually... better yet get a FRIEND to follow her so your car isn't spotted.
You just need to know where he lives, then you wait outside until she leaves then you knock on the door is all it takes.
IF they aren't separated that's GREAT news because it means he's a LOT closer to her H than your H wants her to be.
Yes, do check into the court system but dont' share anything with your H... Your responses to him last night were PERFECT... just IGNORE him... get him on the defensive...
If you act worried or cooperative he's going to think he can have his OW and you as well... you have to show him clear and cut that its HER OR YOU and NOT both.
Your H is feeling guilty right now and is going to LIE about everything he CAN to avoid looking bad.
He has violated someone's home too... and he on some level will feel bad about that... so his first reaction is to
1. Tell you OW and OWH are getting a divorce (as if this exonerates him) 2. Tell you OW and OWH are separated (this doens't put him in the clear either)
But the info he is sharing shows you
1. He's worried 2. He feels guilty 3. He's got a LOT of stress on him right now
These three things are GOOD for you... its doing YOUR work for you now...
If YOu can invite FRIENDS to your home who KNOW .. VERY CLOSE FRIENDs.. have one at your home every time your H is there...
Your H won't bother you about this stuff if you have a friend there... tell teh friend to NOT even LOOK at him.
He will hide in shame elsewhere in the home until your friend leaves.. just leave WITH your friend... don't be ALONE if you can avoid it.
You don't need to takl about the affair with your friend.. justtheir presence will get your H off your back and that means he will stress even MORE..
Your H's response to stress like this is typical - talk to you... even if you don't want to.. He's going to keep trying to do damage control on you.. IGNORE HIM.. get a friend to BLOCK his efforts by them being there if you an... BOTH of you just ignore him.
Let him sweat... this will work itself out you'll see
