It's the end of the world as we know it, & I feel-

[flowmom]

BBJ, your thread gives me a lot of food for thought as we`re also separated and have young children to care for.

I don't know that you need to blow up! But you can be firm. Set the boundaries for real.

Something like:

"Dan, when you have the kids, you need to show up at x:xx, and take them with you. Your visitation is not going to happen in my house. When it's time, you bring them back, get them in the door, and leave. You don't live here any more, and it isn't good for me or the kids for you to spend time here."

Is it really better for the kids to not have visitation in the family home? H and I have been going on the assumption is that it`s better for the kids to have some time with H in our family home. They are young and it`s their home. It does cause tension, though. H gets stressed and I feel like I have to be on when he`s around. But the kids still get to see their parents have some normal and pleasant interactions, which I think helps with their security base.