Sorry to hear about S10's asthma. Of course if he's needing medical attention I understand why you don't want to leave him. But for future reference, don't let that mommy guilt get to you. My mom took a vaction by herself every year. She went to visit college friends or went somewhere with her dad. That modeled for me that it's ok to spend time apart from your family doing the things that make you happy. Both BF and I take solo trips or trips with friends (without each other) because we have different interests. We enjoy our time apart and we also enjoy our travels together.

Regarding your feelings about DBing, I think I understand to some degree. When I was trying to "be the better option" and not bring up BF's affair I was completely miserable. It destroyed my self esteem. That's when I decided enough was enough and I was through trying to save my R at the expense of myself. And while it's not strict DBing by the book(s), it was about setting and enforcing boundaries and becoming the best person I could be.

I totally agree with VH: you're acting out of fear. I have spent most of my life acting out of fear so I get that. I'm still struggling with it holding me back. But once I identified the problem and decided to stop making decisions based on fear I felt free.

FDR was right--the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

If you love somebody, set them free.
http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g