Isn't part of DB working on yourself? Isn't a big part of DB realizing that no matter what happens the individual will be okay because they have grown? Isn't a big part of DB'ing getting to the point where you might want your spouse back but you don't *need* them in order to have a good life?
If we should not speculate what negative actions mean wouldn't the same rationale hold true that we should not speculate what positive actions mean?
And yes, I do disagree with MWD and the article that was posted about unconditional friendship during an ongoing affair. When an affair results in taking a vehicle that does not solely belong to the cheater, squandering 6 figures of joint assets on the OW, running up massive debt to party with the affair and not following the Agreement put forth by the courts then no, unconditional friendship is not appropriate and very damaging. And when you live in a "fault" state vs. a "no fault" state as you do, well, the game is a bit different. Exactly what level of emotional abuse and gaslighting is a LBS supposed to tolerate in the name of being a good friend?
I agree, it is important to look for the good in all PEOPLE and a WAS should be treated as a person. Motives for PEOPLE and WAS's are very different though.
