Positive developments? #2

[jon2911]

Early disc golf yesterday, really helped my stress level during the day to get that exercise. Had a good dinner with K4D last night, and introduced him to the career transition group at church. Great people. I owe them a lot, probably would have gone insane this past year without them. It was great to drop by and share the good news about all 3 of my jobs.

Went to a Dallas Stars hockey game after that with a friend, they won in a shoot-out. Amazing! Great GAL to lose my voice a little bit.

During the game, I checked e-mail and found an interesting one from W the night before. Hadn't checked e-mail all day because of busyness. She had asked about auto insurance and I hadn't replied yet:

1. Have not filed for divorce.
2. We can do separate policies if you want to
3. Insurance is still listed in Dallas

I replied that was at a game but would call her later. Called her and we had a good talk. Told her my preference would be to save us both money by staying on the same policy. She needs to get her rate lowered somehow, so I told her we could raise the deductible, etc. Glad I worked in that business for a while.

I'm very excited by this news. Things seem to be changing, but I'm trying not to have any expectations. W also told me that FIL spent the whole day on the phone with 5 levels of Dodge customer service, and got her luggage rack replaced for free. She said he's going crazy in retirement and wants stuff to do. That's cool, I guess. I still feel ticked every time she mentions him, like we're in a fight over her. Need to remember that's not entirely true.

[MichelleLT]

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. It's her job to figure out how to deal with him and set boundaries though.

Your focus just has to be on building the R with your W.

Which seems to be going well! Glad to see that contact is increased and relaxed. Also interesting that she deliberately said she hasn't file for D.

[K4D]

Keep the PMA Jon. I am very grateful for you introducing me to that group. I have a friend that wants to go this coming Wednesday night also.

I definitely see positives in your sitch. It has been a long time in coming. What is the average 2 to 3 years? Keep up the good work bro.

Kevin

[jon2911]

Thanks Kevin!

Had a great gig with my band last night in Fort Worth. Made sure I had nothing planned tonight or tomorrow, as it's been a very full week. And a co-worker called in sick today and screwed the rest of us. Extremely stressful. Almost done though!

W mentioned last night that a friend of hers has invited her to move to Austin and live together. I just validated and affirmed. Got to admit it stung a bit though. Maybe at some point I say "no, you need to come back here." Maybe she's actually fishing for that with these kinds of comments? I think I might start doing that, in a light, confident way. And just blow it off when she says no. Could be fun to try.

[jon2911]

Interesting developments. It's been two weeks since I've seen W, about the timeframe I want to make something happen, but I've been really busy. Decided to keep this weekend completely clear to rest up and get work done.

Friday night I hit the gym and then Starbucks to work on job #2, good because my boss is getting antsy. Still need to prove I can handle both jobs.

W texted around 11:00 asking if I wanted to talk, and I was just wrapping things up. We talked for a little while, then she asked if we could have an "adventure" soon. Very good sign. This is one of the reasons we fell in love, I was spontaneous and adventuresome on a way which blew her mind.

She asked what my schedule is like during the week, but also said Valentine's is coming up. Score! I'd been thinking about that, but let her bring it up. I said I'm very busy during the week, but let's plan something for Valentine's. Then she said she'd be in Dallas Wednesday and Thursday next week, which actually works out because I don't have anything Wednesday nights.

Then she said she was wishing we could ML, because FIL bought her tickets to Dave Ramsey today and she doesn't want to go. She needs sex before and after. LOL. I'm actually starting to like Dave a lot, but even a friend of hers agreed "he sounds just like your Dad."

Mostly stayed in bed today, I really overdid it this week and I'm feeling congested and crappy. Getting out now to do laundry and hit the gym, while continuing to work job #2. My place is a wreck, and it looks like W will stay with me next week. Planning to rest up today and tackle the place tomorrow. Boss #2 is taking his family skiing for a week starting tomorrow, so thus he's a little anxious. I'll work hard today and get a status report to him this evening.

[MichelleLT]

I've done the multiple jobs thing, it's definitely very stressful. Hopefully you don't have to do it too long as it definitely wears you down.

Definitely promising that she wants to be around and mentioned Valentine's Day! That definitely sounds nice.

It is very positive that she is looking to get some independence from her family, get out on her own again. She may be fishing for an offer from you, or she may really need that independence still (and to some extent more since she is living with a friend and getting a lil emotional distance from her family). My geography down there is sketchy, would that make her closer to you? How far a drive would it be? (I'm thinking it might be more feasible to move more towards dating w/ her not worrying about family driving by - although at some point she does need to just deal with telling them to let her live her life lol).

[jon2911]

Rested up yesterday after a great morning at church, also got to talk to my parents for a while. Convinced them to get an iPad. Sweet!

W called around 9:30 PM, just as I woke up from a nap. She wanted to know what we talked about Friday night, she couldn't remember, which happens quite a bit. I told her she'd asked for an adventure on Wednesday and plans for Valentine's. She seemed cool with that.

We finalized plans for this week: she's staying in a hotel close to where I work, so I'll go over after work Wednesday night and leave the next morning. I guess either moneybags FIL or GFIL are paying for these hotels when she comes in for doctor appointments. Takes the pressure off me of getting my place ready.

[jon2911]

W texted yesterday that she had to cancel the plans. She said "I'm sorry Jon". I didn't respond until after work.

This sucks. Now I'm realizing how much I was looking forward to it. And having the mixed feelings of wondering why she canceled, if some OM is involved, why the heck she chose to live so far away, etc.

Hopefully will be a good thing, she seemed to be really excited about it and disappointed when it fell through. I told her I wished she was coming, but stayed upbeat and continued on with my previous plans.

[River]

Jon - these situations are difficult to read - you said FIL was probably paying for the hotel, so maybe something happened there - I just mean that the decision may not have been W's, and after all, you say she's disappointed too. Well done on keeping upbeat, using this place to vent a bit, and for continuing with your previous plans. I hope the new jobs are going well, River

[MichelleLT]

Well the positives: she tried to make plans to see you, she was disappointed she had to cancel.

Sorry things didn't work out.