Ya, sadly i can barely pay half the bills in my house. Its really my W house. I just live there infact its not even in my name.
I agree and understand. No, i dont think im unique in any of this. However, i think my best bet is to show her that i will not accept this. Its hard for her because there hasnt been a physical meeting, there may not even be talking between them. However, as i explained to her. I view him as a threat and i will not tolerate it.
I think your wrong about the paper stuff. She didnt know i saw those. I really think she is re-think this divorce thing.
M:33 W:32 Married 10/28/07 C: B13 G10 (Both from different relationships) 12/30/09 Bomb Divorce Busted 2/04/10 5/15/12 Bomb 2
So, we basically had the same talk we did yesterday. However, i stuck to my guns and she removed him last night. She wasnt happy about it but it was done.
M:33 W:32 Married 10/28/07 C: B13 G10 (Both from different relationships) 12/30/09 Bomb Divorce Busted 2/04/10 5/15/12 Bomb 2
Ya, sadly i can barely pay half the bills in my house. Its really my W house. I just live there infact its not even in my name.
I agree and understand. No, i dont think im unique in any of this. However, i think my best bet is to show her that i will not accept this. Its hard for her because there hasnt been a physical meeting, there may not even be talking between them. However, as i explained to her. I view him as a threat and i will not tolerate it.
I think your wrong about the paper stuff. She didnt know i saw those. I really think she is re-think this divorce thing.
So, we basically had the same talk we did yesterday. However, i stuck to my guns and she removed him last night. She wasnt happy about it but it was done.
What did you say specifically? Do you remember? If so post it here, post her response.
The people on this forum learn by real life examples, if you were able to get her to do this successfully without arguing, give us a breakdown of the dialog so that others can try the same thing when they're in those situations.
Also.... install a keylogger on the pc. You can't trust her yet, even though you want her to. She has been pushing past your boundaries for quite some time, this facebook contact was the only visible form of contact you were able to see, there may be others, in fact I would bank on it. That's just the nature of the beast as it goes right now.
What have you been doing to improve yourself. I'm not saying she is perfect but you helped contribute to this situation. What are you doing to make yourself stand out as the better option? Do you have a life outside of your family? Do you go to the gym? Do you ever shop for new clothes, do you ever invest in your personal appearance? Are you a slob? Are you overweight and when you began your relationship with her you were in shape? Do you play any team sports? Or do you just hang out on your computer every day after work and just follow the same old boring routine day in and day out?
I have been seriously working at this for a little over a month. My W decided to leaving me basically because i have for the last year or so been in my own little world and not working on showing her how much i love her. I told her and would even buy gifts from time to time but i have not made my wife a focus. I cared about my hobbies and my deadbeat job more.
When i got DR. I did a 180, i changed my focus and started helping more and making it a focus. I before was doing it half ass but now i am doing it for real and wanting to do it and making it a focus. I started taking walks and fixing things that have been broken around the house. I have lost 30 pounds. I wear nice shirts because i no longer have a dead beat job and may make alot of money soon. (its commission based...i have made money but i have to way for clients to fully pay before i get paid)
In one month, I have seen huge improvements in my wife. (thats why i dont think the papers i found are wrong). Now, the things i have seen are not what i wanted to see. I wanted to see a big i love you and get my wife back. That hasnt happened, however we talk better now. When the R comes up. (we try to avoid talking about it) Its pleasant and nice and understand each other. She has baked me thinks and thought about my needs. She has stopped looking at a world without me and focus on a world with me in it. No, i still dont get to kiss my wife, i dont get i love you's. However, i am closer to saving this then i was a month ago.
now the talk
When i got home. I told her, "you still havent removed him yet. Do you plan on doing that?" she said "I didnt realize that it was a right now type of thing." I said "I am sorry, you are unclear. Yes, you need to remove him." She then explained to me that she didnt see the point. That they have been friends for years and i never had a problem and now i do. She explained to me that they dont talk. That the only person who sees that there is a problem is me." I said "You may be correct on all the statements but i will not sleep with a wife who surrounds herself with someone who doesnt support us. Someone, who is actively trying to hide things from me. (this guy had me blocked on face book). She did piss and get upset and say she doesnt want to talk about it. However, she removed him last night because i wouldnt sleep with her if she didnt. I also made it very clear that i am not controlling her. She said "why am i do to if you have other demands like this." I told her that "I have never asked her to do things like that dont try to turn this into me being one of those type of guys. Also, i am not controlling you at all. I am saying if you choice to continue to be friends with him on facebook. I will choice to not be in this marriage."
I was odd but it worked. She was the one saying she wanted a D but when i threw a choice like that she submitted and took care of it. She is mad at me right now. She isnt angry not talking but she is annoyed that she had to do it.
M:33 W:32 Married 10/28/07 C: B13 G10 (Both from different relationships) 12/30/09 Bomb Divorce Busted 2/04/10 5/15/12 Bomb 2
Last night was good. We spent alot of time talking about the R. (Need to have that happen less.) Its not bad and its good talks. We aren't rehashing stuff. We are pretty much in the friend zone. I heard coach talk about this. We are basically friends that hold hands....Now, do i just keep being her friend and see what happens or do i try and pushing thing forward.
M:33 W:32 Married 10/28/07 C: B13 G10 (Both from different relationships) 12/30/09 Bomb Divorce Busted 2/04/10 5/15/12 Bomb 2
What the heck is wrong with me. I need help. I am crazy right now. I know my wife had lunch with a friend and i still got crazy because she is happy and i dont know why. I am crazy crazy worried about OM. I just drove by her work as a spy. Plus, i broke the rule and called her twice...(of coarse i found a reason to call her. She sent me to voice mail twice...so she must have been on the phone but with who.....sigh....maybe im crazy)
We are getting along good. Having good talks....and i am friggen making rookie mistakes....I need help to refocus...DISTANCE.
M:33 W:32 Married 10/28/07 C: B13 G10 (Both from different relationships) 12/30/09 Bomb Divorce Busted 2/04/10 5/15/12 Bomb 2
