Opt--lots of good things this weekend, I'm happy for you!
I agree with Alaskangal about telling your parents.
It does seem a bit of a self-fufilling prophecy in not telling them---you don't believe it will work, won't tell them, have that attitude in your mind...etc. Take a leap of faith. What is the worst that could happen?
Sorry, guys, I was nearly convinced that I should do exactly that when I found yesterday that my H had called OW's house from his cell phone this weekend. I know it can have a perfectly innocent explanation (asking her to bring something to the office today or something like that) but I just cannot feel very confident.
I just don't understand men... or mine in particular.
To be fair, after a quarrel last night (I had asked him his opinion on Tal's sitch and he got mad at me for 'leaving our D to watch TV while I was on the BB'), this morning started well: , then ILY before going to work.
I don't know anything.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Opt - sounds like he is confused too. Just keep working on yourself to make you the best choice he has. Remember though, that after that phone call (which was probably innocent) he told you this morning ILY before going to work. Don't let Mr. Doubt take control, you should act as if your sit is going in the right direction.
I think I would look at that phone call as innocent at this time. He just seems so present with you and the family that I think he is really trying to work things out.
Here is a hug for you to help pick up the PMA. {{{{Opt}}}}
And hey, I had some Dom still left along with your fresh squeezed orange juice. How about a Mimosa just so we don't have withdrawal?
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Thank you both. Yes Pam, I'll take the mimosa, with double dose of Dom and a cup of coffee.
Just run into him at work and we talked a bit. He kissed me goodbye before he left IN FRONT OF MY PARTNER. My partner made a joking comment ('I do not get a good bye and she gets a kiss'). Of course he knows about the mess, so it was kind of weird in a good way.
Bob, how does the male brain work?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Please, hurry up and figure it... we girls need the insight
Here is Sage's suggestion in a post to Talitsa
Quote: I dunno...here's what my gut tells me...that at least in my case, ow was still around long after he said she was. I think that she gradually started being diminished as I gained his attention and energy...I think the pull of the fear (of being alone, of being unloved) makes them keep ow around...like, can I really believe that this person still loves me, will truly forgive me? Maybe I should keep that safety net, JIC. Well..that doesn't make it any more palatable, does it? And why can't they see how much HARDER it is to reconnect with them around? Take you hands off the safety wire, folks!
I guess it may be the explanation... but why do they not realize that it defeats the purpose?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Opt - I agree on that part. I would think it counterproductive to work toward a goal while only giving it half your attention.
But then we are both on this BB because we were the ones in our own relationsips to have seen the need to change. And like the book says "it takes one to Tango". So we will be the ones to change and hope that our spouses (ex in my case) will notice and one day come back with their full attention. Until then, we can only work with the attention they give us.
I pulled another of my lady-of-the-manor impersonations today I had had a cancellation at 1 pm so I got my makeup on (pink lipstick included) and drove to H's office to take him out for lunch. I had free lunch in my office, but some goals are worth a bit of sacrifice...
He seemed really glad to see me (which is new: he is usually nervous when I go) and told me to go ahead he'd join me in the restaurant. I made some chit chat to OW who was clearly in a p***y mood and did not bother to answer and drove off.
H came to the restaurant and was a bit upset, as in with someone/something else, not me. We had lunch and he was wearing his ring (I did not notice if he had been wearing it in his office). He asked me to sign up for him in a meeting we have tonight. When we were leaving he asked for 50 cents for the newspaper 'so that I do not have to go back to the office and pick it up' (total time involved would have been 5 minutes).
What do you think? Or am I reading too much into every simple behaviour?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
I think it's good stuff Opt - going well. You guys get lunch together frequently, seems like you spend a lot of TIME together, more than a lot of couples, which is good - and he wants to be with you. I think it sounds really good.
, then ILY before going to work. 
