how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

talia - you posted on my thread when i posted on yours! great minds think alike, i guess.

thanks for sharing with me what's worked for you. every little bit helps. i've thought about trying to at least sort out some of his things and pack (i.e. all of his books, some of the kitchen ware, etc.) them up, because i know i can't handle being around the day he moves out (T minus 2 days and counting), but i would worry he'd feel like i was either eager for him to get out or trying to make sure he didn't take anything i wanted or i thought was "mine."

i do like the act as if theory, and have been planning to use it when i meet him today to go over the separation papers. if we weren't separated, how would i greet him if we were meeting for lunch together? i'll admit i got out of bed EARLY this morning to find the perfect outfit and spent a little extra time on the hair and makeup. just in case he decides that he can't live without me and professes his undying love over lunch. (kidding!)

as for MY living situation...our lease is up at the end of february. so i won't have that much time to make the place my own. although he is taking the TV and probably the couch, which will free up the whole living room for me to turn into my yoga/meditation den, so...that will be nice. i may have to put some things in storage for a while and move in with my sister when my lease is up because i work for the gov'ment and make PEANUTS and rent rates in washington DC are ASTRONOMICAL.

i'm not in IC right now...i reached out to our MC (who was initially my H's IC before he started seeing us together) about talking to him but he hesitated because of his primary "role" as my H's C. a friend of mine is a life coach and i've been speaking with her as well as a DB coach. i've joined a divorce support group and have a meeting on tuesday. i'm journaling like crazy, spending time just laying around with my dog (who, by the way, is a WRECK), and making a lot more room for god in my life. i found a new church that i love and i started running again. (FYI, crying while you are running is NOT a good idea since it can lead to one tripping oneself and almost falling off the treadmill. i do not recommend it!)

trying to start new routines is a good idea, too...my H usually got home before me and would walk the dog before i got home, but i'm enjoying taking on the task of adding a walk with the dog to my morning routine (as long as it's not raining). just taking it day by day, learning to let go and just let me be me.

thanks! your support means a lot!