I've hit a wall.. Now what?

[trytryagain]

talia-

i wanted to say how incredibly strong i think you are for having gotten through the holidays while staying dark. if i go one day without contact with my H i think it's a big deal! so it's good to know that it does get easier with time.

my inclination is to meet with him (so your fabulousity can fully resonate with him), tell him how you feel about filing jointly, and let him carry the weight from there. no doubt you are very proud of the hard work you've put into getting your home back into presentable shape (clearly, one does NOT need a H around to accomplish the "honey do" list!), but i would hesitate to ask him to meet you there if you haven't seen him in a few months. i would lean towards meeting in a neutral spot like for coffee or something along those lines. for one thing, that would sort of work to keep both of your tempers/reactions in check since you'd be in a public place...and for another, it seems to me that if he let if fall into such disrepair before, there is the chance that he may not notice or be as impressed as you'd like him to be with the changes you've made.

others may disagree with me on that, but i say keep the negative energy out of your beautiful "new" home, at least for the time being. let your pride in the work you've done to it shine through you and no doubt he will notice SOMETHING is different about you. besides just being extra fabulous.