how do i keep my hope alive?

[talia]

HI TTA,
I thought I would drop by your thread! I have a few random thoughts. I relation to your post on my thread - the Dog. Maybe you could take him out for walks at the time that H would normally come home. It gets you both out of the house creating new habits. Might Help?

Also as far as the lonliness goes - I had a creative way of dealing with that. I renovated my house. Now I know you rent... but change things around. Everything is different at my place - the colors, furniture pieces, furniture placement, etc. Sometimes changing your environments changes your thinking. It feels more like MY house than OUR house - THAT helps my PMA.

Also, with the moving out thing. I packed all my H's stuff. THAT was my way of lovingly controlling his move. I packed it all - very organized, labeled boxes, etc. That way I didn't have to go through the house with him and watch him pack - I couldn't have handled it at the time. I cried the entire day as I packed all his stuff and stacked it in the middle of the living room. I looked at it like it was the most loving thing I could do to support his need to leave. BUT when he arrived to pack up and move you should have see the look on his face when he realized I did it. He was speechless the entire time he packed the truck. It was empowering for me, and a huge 180 because I think he believed I would try to talk him out of it.

I really used the ACT AS IF idea alot. IF we werent seperated, how would I treat H? That idea has kept me handling things based on my morals and values, not based on my reaction to him.


Sorry - this is alot about me... but I can't tell you what to do, all I can do is tell you what worked for me


Are you in IC? What are you doing to deal with your feelings?

(((HUGS))) Hang in there!

Talia