Hi...thank you so much for your visits..you have many positives from where I stand...but go slow...he seems to want to make it work but I am sure is as scared as you are.
Don't let yourself slip back to old stuff...take deep breaths and come here to vent.
Optimist! I think it probably did him a world of good to hear and see your HONEST emotions. Look how he responded! He made you breakfast and left a sweet heart on your car for you and is WEARING his ring again!
Sometimes, we just have to let loose and express ourselves...Shiny is right, sometimes the rules change as we go.
I would take all of the signs he sending as very positive. Now, how can you reward him? Why not tell your family he is back and let him start answering the phone? Show him you are more committed to him than to anyone else...family, friends, etc. It would probably warm his heart to feel at home again...really at home.
Actually, he only wore his ring that once. We were supposed to have picked mine from the jeweller on Saturday, but we were late for our D's competition and did not have time.
Yes, you are right. I should tell my family and make it official. I just don't know how. My brothers and sisters will disagree with me but respect my decision but my parents will be terribly upset.
Part of the reason I do not tell them is, of course, that I do not trust him and do not trust this to work. And since I do not trust the experiment will work I do not want to upset my parents just to tell them later it is over for good.
I regret so much that I told my parents about the A and the D. At the time I had good intentions: I was certain it was over and did not want my parents to learn of it after the fact. Huge mistake: they are suffering and imagining all sorts of horror stories about him kidnapping our D and suing me for everything.... I've tried to explain to them that he never opposed anything and made it totally easy, but they've created this moster in their minds and don't seem to be able to let go.
I know, it is a self-fulfilling prophecy and my H is so attuned to my moods that I am sure he knows that it is lack of trust that stops me. And I am sure he is hurt by it.
What a tangled web we weave...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
So, tell your family exactly that! Tell them you love H and are trying to work on marriage and that h is back living with you. Ask your family members for what you need from them right now: Support. Explain to your parents that you feel you made a mistake by letting them know so much about your marital problems, and that now you want them to be able to try and forgive NOT forget, too. Let them all know that you are a capable, strong woman able to take care of her own needs and wants...but that you love them for worrying and caring about you. Explain that the best thing they can do is to support you as you try to piece your marriage back together....it just might go over easier than you imagine.
