I've hit a wall.. Now what?

[talia]

HI All,
I'm feeling better everyday - its liberating.

Cutter,
I just read you entire thread yesterday - the WHOLE thing! Holy cow you have come a long way. No wonder you give such great advice. I hope things look up for you, I'll leave my 2 cents someday soon. Thanks for dropping by here - its good to see you!No Massages yet - I have to find a way to work those into my budget. Not alot of extra room since H dosen't help with any of the bills.

Mark,
I'm not sure how the role reversal happened, but I'm realizing that I don't really have anything to lose. That might be the point where it switched. Its strange and liberating all at the same time.

OK .. Now to how to deal with this Sitch...

About this meeting, I'm not sure what I want to do. I'm equally pulled in several directions. The overall feeling is that I'm NOT interested in getting divorced, that I'm NOT interested in filing jointly because it goes against my moral values, and if H wants to be divorced he can do it and I'll respond as required by the court. SO now its just down to how I communicate that to him. I've been dark since Nov and thats going well. I don't contact him at all, for anything. He's expecting my response to his email about meeting.
Do I just email him and tell him how I feel and be done with it -No meeting?
OR do I meet with him - mostly so he can see my fabulous self - tell him how I feel and then go dark again?
OR do I just ignore him completely and he'll figure it out on his own?

Thoughts? I'm slightly leaning toward the middle option...


One other question. One of the big issues in our marriage was the condition of our house. When he left it had fallen into squalor type conditions. H never cleaned a thing, BIL who lived with us not only didn't clean but I swear was a hoarder, and I was too depressed to care and resented them both for having to be the maid. With all of this going on I realized that if I was going to keep the house - which I am - I need to get a roommate, which means I need to fix the place up. That project is close to complete now and it looks fabulous! By the time H and I meet the house will be done. Here's the question... Do I invite him to meet at the house so he can see it? He hasn't been there since Nov. My concern is if he gets mad about what I have to say I won't be able to walk away from the meeting - I would have to get him to leave. Overthinking this???