So it sounds as if you have it figured out, or nearly so, for you. You can only control how you react, what you decide and what vision of your marriage you will accept. It sounds so simple doesn't it and yet somewhere in our minds we fight that tooth and nail as if we can bend someone to our will. All that causes is frustration and hurt on both sides.
You are at a good point and I am happy for you.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory