The lets-do-it weekly worked well until xmas. Then things fell apart again near new year.
We had another talk last Friday and she has said that she feels that the issue is tiredness. She's also come up with a plan to try and meet in the middle (she's a morning person, I'm an owl).
The plan, in theory, is that we free up our lunch times and try to get our den-away-from-kids working.
My issue with this is while it sounds great, it is just words(I seem to get a lot of words about this subject). There's also the issue of my job potentially coming to an end in 3 months-ish and then I'll be looking for work away from home. This would put more pressure onto her - the cleaning, dropping off\picking kids, walking dog, cooking etc that I'm helping with right now.
I'm frightened that would be it at that point.
I can see that she can be tired - pain from gallstones can keep her up at night sometimes - but there's no 'we' in the relationship. She needs to loose a reasonable amount of weight before an op is safe - but that's never seems to be happening.
We're going to start advertising and see if we can get a weekend nanny occasionally - we only have her mother living within babysitting reach and she can't do that. (Slightly disabled and not completely with it).
My plan now is relatively simple - we try and follow the her plan for the next couple of weeks. Then if that doesn't happen I'll ring Relate and get us booked in.
Part of me just feels that I'm the guy that walks the dog, cooks sometimes, looks after the kids and does nightly footrubbing and brings in the cash. I'm also the person that's being slowly driven out of his mind by this - I just feel so damn emotionally drained.
I just feel I've been pushing this rock up this bloody hill for so long and everytime I have a hint of success the bloody thing rolls back down again.
I can't go on like this forever - I'm going to try all the options I've got - and if those fail then we have to separate. I suspect I've got about 6-9 months before that happens. I'm beginning to wonder, if we didn't have kids, if we would've gone on this long.
