Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

And as predicted, she said no to the hotel. Just doesn't want too. I sold it a little and then quit, she wasn't listening, and I was already in a pissy mood and didn't want to make it worse.
Having a hard time with the PMA tonight. Had a long/tough day, come home, deal with a kid still faking sick, get dinner started, get text from W saying she's on her way, 40 minutes later get another text saying she was really leaving this time.
W got home and I let her know that I had held dinner up and told the kids she would be home for dinner. That pissed her off, but oh well, that is respect in my book.

Youngest daughter testing my patience all night, let the W know that she is in one of those moods, W says she'll take care of the daughter rest of the night...but doesn't. I decide I really got to try to turn on the happy face and do good for a while. We nicely exchange stories from the day and how our days went. W quickly realizes that mine was pretty packed and busy and says to me that I should have called her and she could have come home to take care of the girls. I was honest. I said I don't even think about that these days and everything I had left to do could wait another day. I wanted to ensure she knows I can handle everything with or without her and don't need her to bail me out just cause I had a rough day (as nice as that would have been, I don't need it). It didn't appear she liked that answer, but in my mind, then maybe next time she can actually check and see how things are and offer to help, or actually think about spending more time with the kids. Again, the whole attitude was just annoying.

I found myself sitting there in my mind saying why in the world would I want to put up with this and then I see my girls and I remind myself that I am going to give 100% for them and if I hit 100% and still can't get things to work out, then I can look myself and them in the mirror and know I gave it my all.

I know I am a little off tonight and it must be showing. Twice she asked me what is wrong, twice I smiled and said nothing and then tried really hard to put on the game face.

Later she asks me what I am going to do tonight. I asked why she wanted to know...she wanted to know if she should work in the basement or the bedroom...I wasn't falling for that. I think she was trying to be nice but I need to drive home the point that I'm not planning my activities around her and where she decides to hole up at night. I did that for a while. I'm past that now; I really could care less. She chose the bedroom. I made sure to go in there after a little bit just to show it is still my house too; actually have gone in there twice.

But like I posted earlier, going with what works. Staying in the house and staying busy doing my own thing and will see how that works tonight. So far, she seems to be very friendly and peaceful...will continue to monitor.