Good and bad - Good - H continues to try to keep his tone calm. I notice him catching himself and turning it around - I don't know if he even notices he does it. Yesterday he was here to play with S for a couple hours and he was darn right nice. I had bought him a bag of coffee from Costco - and he complained right off the bat about how that was a crappy brand. Well this is how he usually is, and it' painful. He actually said, "I shouldn't complain, that was nice of you, thank you." He tasted it and said it was actually really good.
THAT WAS A HUGE TURN AROUND. Now if he can only keep it up...
Tonight he came over. Usually when I cook he complains or just says he will cook his own food. I had made him a light eggplant bake because I know he's on a healthy diet. Instead of rejecting it he was happy and ate nearly the whole thing!
Also at one point I heard him raising his voice with S, something that has been bothering me for some time. Usually when I bring it up, he dismisses me, or worse yet tells me how WRONG my method is. He actually said he'd stand back and listen to how I discipline S. He did, I was able to calmly set the boundaries with S, and H did not fight with me over it.
THIS IS ALSO HUGE.
I also need this to continue...
Now the bad -
H said he remembers very little these days. Here I am trying not to obssess over every little thing we say and do to each other, and he can't remember anything. I noted he seemed to be feeling better since the weekend and he said he couldn't even remember - you know, all that stuff with the car break in, the near car accident, etc? All the yelling at S and I so we had to leave the house? Remember all that trauma that he felt and caused us to feel?
No, he doesn't remember.
This infuriates me.
And, he's "going away" for his birthday weekend - do I fear an OW? You bet. I have no proof. LR would say don't mindread. I am getting to the point where I'm almost too tired to care. I'm so depressed at everything I've gone through this year, that wouldn't be the worse of it anymore. I'm so traumatized and sad over all the hurtful things he's done I just don't think and OW would make it that much worse. I think it's been the worse it can be.
Oh well, he still wears his wedding ring, and we're separated, not divorced. What can I say I doubt it's over.
