How do I expose the affair

[WhatNow]

ok. I am caught up with your thread. You are getting really good advice on exposure.

I was uncomfortable exposing.

So, I made a list of everyone we knew who would support our marriage, as well as people they had contact with, and how I could contact them. (Ithink phone is best) Everyone needed to know this wasn't some fairytale romance but a sordid, family destroying affair.

Then, I wrote a neutral generic script to follow.
Hi XXXXX. This is (me). I am calling to tell you I just discovered WH is having an affair with (OW). I love WH very much and want to save my marriage. I would appreciate your support of my me and my marriage and any influence you might have in ending their affair.

many folks wanted more details, so I just said that it was really hard for me to talk about right now and we could catch up soon.

I also sent OW an email:
I know you are involved with my husband. I love my husband very much and want to repair our 23 year relationship and put our family back together. This is impossible as long as your affair continues, I am asking you to end it.

The quicker you expose and then REMOVE yourself from the triangle the better.

Also, google "distorted thinking patterns" so you do not take any of what he says personally right now. Maintain your dignity!

Exposure is hard, going dark, harder. the quicker you expose and go dark, the more peace you will have. Get out of his chaos! Once you are out of the triangle, they have noone to gripe about! They will be forced to face the rreality of what they have done.

(((hugs)))



Also check out my thread for the letter I wrote WH before I went dark.