Last night in MC, I was humble and I listened more than talking. It was hard because H kept saying how he didn't see any hope for us and that he wasn't in love with me anymore and didn't think that would ever change. Hard words to hear but it wasn't anything I hadn't heard before. I listened and validated.
I am really inspired to read that you were able to do that, given the stakes involved. I'm guessing that your H saw you in a new way, but even if he didn't, at least you got to be open LuLu, rather than bitter LuLu. Being able to meet someone where they are at is one of the most loving things one can do, and it can be very hard when there is a lot of baggage in a marriage.
Originally Posted By: LuLu
The MC did trip up H in his train of thought a few times. H said that he thinks the right decision is to just end things. He'd also said how he hadn't been sleeping well lately. MC said if he felt he was making the right decision, why is he not sleeping at night? If it was the right decision, you would be sleeping like a baby. I think maybe it did help. MC ended the session with, "So, we'll see you in 2 weeks?" and H said, "Yes." I thought that was huge.
It is huge that he is willing to continue. And interesting that the MC was able to introduce an element of doubt without putting him in the wrong.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
