Just want my H back

[pearlharbr]

You're working yourself so stop it. Take a few deep breaths. You're a smart woman, I know this for a fact. Don't let your emotions run away with you.

See a lawyer BEFORE you meet up or have any further discussions with H. The purpose in seeking legal counsel at this point is to learn about your options. You don't have to make any decision on the spot. Compile a list of questions, take the meeting and gather all the info. Only then should you decide if you want to discuss tuition reimbursement with your H, ask for it when you file, or just walk away.

What is the rush to meet up with H? Unless there is something pressing I strongly urge you NOT to see him next week. You're not moving right now. There's plenty of time. Don't put undue pressure and stress on yourself.

I feel like I missed an opportunity...it's so hard to know how to be, can upbeat and positive seem like you are trying to win them back? argh. i feel like i'm reading into every action i take and it's driving me crazy. i just want to be myself.

This proves that you are not even close to being detached. Again, if you see your H when you're highly emotional it will NOT go well no matter your intentions. You need to be able to do it with a calm, carefree attitude that I don't think you can even fake right now.

So slow down. Talk to a lawyer. Talk to a counselor. There's something going on to take you from last summer/fall's demeanor to this current state of fear and panic.

I can't remember if I told you this at lunch or if you ever read it on my thread, but here was the key for me: you have to decide that you're not going to let fear control you. Making life choices based on fear of what may or may not happen if you do or don't do X, Y or Z is no way to live. It holds you back from being your best self and having the life you deserve.

I know you're angry about life not turning out the way you thought it would. I think we all have been there. It's ok to feel that way but in the end, life isn't fair and we have to make the best out of what we're dealt.

I know you can do this. You can email or call me anytime if you need a reminder.

And yes, I did see the IC last week and just the one session helped me see things more clearly. I have another session scheduled next wee. I highly recommend it.