By the way like wifes atty, she's so slow this could take until next yr, it's my atty that's going to fast.

found out wife's atty has had two continuances so far and ignoring the court, said good let her, i haven't made enough of a change and wife needs to do some work, why am i doing all the work on a divorce i don't want.

I HAVE GOT A HECK OF A FIGHT ON MY HANDS,ATTY,DAUGHTER,WIFE.

SO MUCH FOR AYK KISS'ING AND JUST TRYING TO QUIT SMOKING:)

I thought if could just narrow down to me and D,ignoring wife things might get better, for 3 days practiced KISS, i was taking on too much and spinning, told atty that and she said tough. you're not Kiss anymore kid, you're fighting on every front.

what a mess, but well i'm not dead and i really have a chance to show myself what i am capable of, for the first time in my life i don't have anyone to run to physically anyway, i just have me.

For some reason and i hope this lasts, i don't feel desperate. regret the past learned from it, don't want to share the future with anyone else, but right now, i need to count on me and rise up so the kids respect me, they told me, dad you got to keep your promises and quit talking about mom.

i'm man enough to admit, they are right. told them so too.

it is amazing learned some things with call with wife,she could tell i was calm, she stayed calm, but when we edged towards her doubt, she got mean. it's amazing the memory they have or how they can twist something easy into a twist and they really do try to make you feel worthless, got to admit, it took me a half hr to get over what she said, but i didn't cry or take it personally for the first time.

she told me how to save this, be strong, continue to put those kids first AND just flat leave her alone. think the only thing said that shouldn't have is very proud of you, wish you had expressed yourself more like this when we were married and once you realize because you put everyone ahead of your own needs and took on other peoples stress' as your own, you might get better for you.

i told her i need to make changes for me so they'll stick, and i didn't steal that from an earlier post and you might see them, but so far you're right, what you have been watching has justified everything you're doing.

i haven't given you anything to watch, haven't given anyone anything to watch other than a broken down desperate guy, working on that.