You can choose to drag things out or you can choose to let your H set the pace while you let him know you are doing as he wishes even if it isn't what you want. If it were me, I would let him set the pace because I would want minimize his anger toward me. Don't get me wrong, you need to protect yourself and get what is rightfully due to you. That may make him angry but eventually he may understand that you just did what you had to do for you and your kids.
Your H is running and making the M the reason why. IMHO, if you give him what he wants, he will have to look for new sources of his continuing unhappiness...he will either figure it out or he won't but you have no control over that. I just think the more resistance you give your H, the more blame he will place on you.
