As long as your WAW has money to contact OM, then financial matters don't rank as high as they once did. If she had to choose today if she had money to be with OM or her D17 go to university, guess what would come in second place? So sad.
The children may be in a bit of denial about everything that she is doing. That would be hard to accept about one's mom. I'm sure it would be natural to push it to the back of one's mind and keep believing that she will be home tomorrow and everything will be back the way it should.
If D17 goes to work at the same place her mom is employed, then she may get a fist hand look at how her mother is trying to behave like a teenager and it won't set well with D.
Like I said, the WAW has to "suffer" from some kind of loss (either regarding some R, home, job, etc.) or she has to suffer shock (exposing the A, seeing her H stand up to her, etc.) You have a tough job ahead of you, but I think you are the man to do it!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
