Just a bit more about what I go through - I wake up crying and feeling alone and cannot wait to get to the end of day so I can come home and vegetate.
At home I arrive in the dark and have to turn on the heat and the lights and make something to eat for one. Occassionally, something isn't working - like the heater and I have to make calls for a repair and skip work the next day. I get sad walking past rooms that are empty and used to be full of people and activity. There is nothing in the mail often anymore - the phone never rings. Sometimes there is something to amuse my mind on tv anything else is too challenging when I am tired. I go to bed crying b/c that is when I miss my husband the most.
I do not watch movies anymore or listen to music b/c it upsets me. I cry when people die ( oh yeah, I think I mentioned my SIL died recently after battling with cancer and my brother didn't tell me or invite me to the funeral- and I thought we were family) I feel if I don't do something positive for someone else I think I will die- so I continue to help others as much as I can.
My so-called friends bailed on me after my husband left b/c they were too tired of him. Now they want back in my life but are too busy with their families to spend any time with me. Does this feels like a good life.? I don't agree.
