I guess I can use it as a title for my next thread: 'Mars is fading' Though that might prove too optimistic... Will see.

I am whiling away on the BB so as not to call H and ask him where he is. We have had quite a few fireworks this weekend (even with my illness). Let's re-capitulate:

Friday I was off, so I happily gardened until my D came back from school. Then I went to the bank and while I was there (about 2 pm) I get a call from H. He sounded REALLY P****D OFF but not at me. He said he had a million things to do but 'they do not let me do them' so he was going home. Would I go with him to look at cars (his has 90,000 miles in less than 3 years and is having engine trouble). Sure. Got home and we went to look at cars and then we went to one of the places he works in. He was a bit on edge but not with me, and seemed to take any innocent comment as a bit of a double edged sword. I just let it pass.

We spent most of the evening at home getting car specs and invoice prices off www.edmunds.com

On Saturday, we took our D ice skating and then went to see more cars. Then he went to work but called me about an hour later:'would I go to lunch with him and after lunch go see yet another dealer.' Sure, we did.

When my D and I got to the restaurant I made an innocent joke 'are you finished already?' (of course I knew that he could not have finished in one hour! I was only kidding) but he got all upset and unhappy through the meal . I ignored the tantrum and ate (LIVER!!! Yummy). He kept his ugly mood.

We were leaving and I got in my car and told him I'd see him at home. He goes: 'aren't we going to see cars?' very roughly. 'O yes, I forgot.' (and I had). So we went. His mood gradually improved.

Later I went with our D to buy a birthday present for one of our neighbors' child and he calls: 'where are you?' 'At Target''I'm going home''OK I'll meet you there'

Went home and did nothing (H very silent and watching TV) until 6:30. Then he left to work and I took D to birthday party. H was supposed to finish, pick up some ear drops for D at the pharmacy and join us there.

At 8 pm he had not arrived so I called him and he said the pharmacy was closed and he had had to pick the med at another pharmacy. I was tired and sick and went home. He called a bit later and offered to pick up dinner. I took him up on it.

Sunday we woke up at 6 am (courtesy of time change without notifying our D's internal clock). I know, Shiny, horrible and ungodly. We snuggled for an hour or so and he cooked breakfast and tylenolized me (I had a fever and looked like Freddy Kruger with a bad hair day).

He left for work at about 9 am and called at noon to say he'd be home in 1 or 1 1/2 hour. Then we could go to the ice skating public session and to the bookshop and eat out. I said OK. At 3:15 he had not shown up. I called him to his cell phone (which he has promised to keep open for me) and it was off. I tried three times and I got p****d. I bundled the princess ice skater up and got in the car.

As we were getting in he arrived and asked where were we going. 'Ice skating', I answered, 'I tried to call you but your phone was off' Now he was mad: 'You could have paged' (of course, but that is how he avoided being called by OW when he was with me and viceversa: his phone was never on and we had to page him). 'You told me you'd keep your phone open'

Anyway, he came with us but D was not exactly in the mood and we went back home less than 30 minutes later. D fell asleep and I went to cook some soup. When I went to our bedroom they were both asleep. Until 7 pm!

The rest of the evening was uneventful. We were sick and tired and not seeing things too clearly.

I had picked up my D's ring (we bought one for each when we left the wedding bands to size, our 'mother and daughter' rings) and showed it to her. We got them on and she saw her Dad's wedding band. She ran to him with the ring 'Daddy, Daddy I have a surprise for you' and gave it to him. He said thanks, tried it on and set it aside. Then he said 'do you want me to pick your up tomorrow?' (he was supposed to have picked it up Sunday). I said yes.

This morning we woke at 6 am on our own but we found what to do with the time... Later he called to go to breakfast with me. And a minute ago he called to say he was going to the supermarket but he'd pick us up to go to the bookstore.

I am tired. I do not understand anything... and least of it myself

"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little" Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"