Here's a question for you: Do you think your STBXW is wondering about some of the same things about you as you are about her? Just curious as I have often wondered the same myself in my own sitch.
This I wonder about, and then realize I am leaving to much room in my head for stbxw.
My answer exactly!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac