I know why he is pushing so hard to come earlier than scheduled. He has his other kids (or kid) tonight. Too busy running around with her and most likely won't make it if he has to choose.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I know why he is pushing so hard to come earlier than scheduled. He has his other kids (or kid) tonight. Too busy running around with her and most likely won't make it if he has to choose.
That is probably tough on him.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
But this is where I get nervous about him now stopping by to check to see if we are home. Honest fear here...
I feel for you SO2, but living in fear is no way to live. Don't give someone that power over you. I don't know the specifics of your case, is he physically violent, or been so?
If so, then I can understand, but would hope that you could have authorities involved to protect you.
If not, then who cares what he does or thinks, or what his schedule is, or what his plans are, etc, or if he rants and raves, and whines, etc. To bad for him, that is not about you, and you can ignore it.
I'd seriously think about changing your cell phone, and not giving the number to him, if he can't stop the txt'ing to you, and you can't enforce that boundary.
You have to put in place some boundaries, they are not about punishing him, but about what you will accept and won't accept in how people treat you.
He is walking all over you, and your letting him, so he will continue to do so.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
I know why he is pushing so hard to come earlier than scheduled. He has his other kids (or kid) tonight. Too busy running around with her and most likely won't make it if he has to choose.
That is probably tough on him.
Kevin
And I would have some sympathy if he would make his other visits and not lie about it. His choices. His other kids are old enough to be home alone for an hour or so as well.
Iwitw and Antlers: Putting those boundaries up is a work in progress. I can do it and know I cannot care what he thinks. I am not punishing him...if I was I would cancel visits. I am just going by what WE agreed to and not letting him come and go on his whims. You are right he is still trying to walk all over me and beat me down.
Last edited by Startingover2; 01/27/1009:09 PM.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Putting those boundaries up is a work in progress. I can do it and know I cannot care what he thinks. I am not punishing him...if I was I would cancel visits. I am just going by what WE agreed to and not letting him come and go on his whims. You are right he is still trying to walk all over me and beat me down.
Been lurking but not joining. I think you're doing quite well. And with strength. fwiw.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Thank you Iwitw and Gardener. Its not easy and not something I ever thought I would be doing. Its very sad actually!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
