It sounds to me as if you equate detaching to distancing and IMO there is a HUGE difference.
Unless you have some secret method of wiping your brain clean it is not humanly possible to "forget" your W. She is the mother of your children! That does not mean you can't detach from the SITUATION. You are very attached yet distanced and that is not a very healthy combination.
If you love your W so much and you would do anything to make her happy why not do what she is asking you to do? Detach and move forward with your life.
