Is it me? Or is it really everyone else? lol.

[K4D]

Ok...so what is the difference in my M to exh and yours? Besides the addiction issues its kind of the same thing. OM/OW...being nice when they need something and blowing you off when they don't. That is my point. From an outsider looking in its easier to see the obvious. I didn't want to give up on my M either but it came time to either sink or swim and he was pulling me down and not thinking twice. I hate to see that happen to you.

If they are pulling you down, sometimes it is better to separate so they can't continue to do so. Me and W are separated, but yet I still fail at keeping her from pulling me down. That is actually my own fault.

As far as my first M...well we were young and stupid and both say that was a mistake D. Nothing I can do about it now.

You can still do something about it. You can still pray for your covenant M to be restored and stand for it. People on rejoice ministries and other sites do it all the time.

My pastor didn't say to move on to someone else....just to let go and move on myself as exh has abandoned the M.

Again, I am not in a position to call out whether the M was truly valid or not. But I do know that abandonment isn't cause for seeking someone else. It just removes you from your duties to that S while they are gone.

I just hate to see you going thru so much pain and agony. I wish your W would come back and be this transformed woman. Statistics are not in that favor though and I want to see you start to rise up.

I agree that statistics are not in favor of it. But I also know that aren't separate statistics for people standing and praying for their M's to be restored. They are actually higher when you separate out those situations from what I can tell.

It does hurt. That is why so many people are on me about detaching so that it doesn't hurt anymore. I admit that I do not have the ability to detach and still care about W. I either stay attached and care, or I detach and don't care anymore. If I truly detach, it means I will write her off and put her out of my mind. I don't want to be like that because it would then not allow for me to pray for us and her the way I should. I can't emotionally separate the 2. I don't want to hurt anymore either. It hurts a lot. It has for some time now. Some days are better than others, but ultimately, it still hurts. It is something I have to live with.

I pray everyday that she will be led back. It is in God's hands and I believe eventually he will. But I don't know when.

Kevin