Hey C-Bart, I just got caught up on your sitch. You have been at this a while and sounds like you are definitely in limbo but with some positives IMO. My sitch is very similar in that I have my kids 27/7. My W only has a room that she rents. No place for the kids to sleep. Sounds like you have a similar sitch where your W is not so interested in the kids.
I will pray that your W still goes to Retro, this could be the thing that gets her unstuck. I like going with the assumption that she is going and make the arrangements for the kids, tarvel etc. As far as treating her friendly and not initiating contact I would say stick to it. I wish my wife called and texted as much as yours but I know that jsut keeps your W stuck where she is at.
Have you read some of the MLC resource threads specifically Hearts Blessing? Also, I am sure you are aware of poster Jack_Three_Beans. He was successful with a friendly patient approach but did so from the very beginning.
I also did the same thing as you and tried to "drop the rope" a couple of weeks ago and tell her it is over, while I have not told my W anything otherwise, I have been friendly with her otherwise. Each sitch is different and I agree your W has to be attracted to you and that requires the distance but at the same time I feel we have to be the lighthouse so they can find their way back to us in the storm that they have created.
It is also, confusing to us as what to do, I do remember reading in DR that if one particular approach is not working and nothing changes after a while then try a different approach. I read a great interaction that JTB had with his W in his sitch from back in 2006 that I copied. I can send it to you via alt universe later tonight if interested.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
