Now for the last month I have been DBing-GALing-and trying to detach and go gray (I am terrible at going dark). I have noticed that as I have done this, which is matching her actions which include much less contact, physical or verbal I am getting to a much better place in dealing with this. In fact, and this part scares me a little.
This is good BUT THEN
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I was almost at the point to set some physical boundaries when she showed up and acted cold and aloof, so I mirrored it. We ended up in bed again after a convo where I was nice, kind and listened, and was the BFF.
Did you think that after 3 years your R was back on track? Or were your hormones just working?
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n reading the list of an MLC person it's spot on for 99%, but is this round 3? My new IC believes it's a "borderline personality disorder", and like the 3 prior C believes I am in for one long ride on the yo-yo string-even
I agree you are in for a long ride!
What do you want? I seem to get mixed signals from your writing. It is not clear what YOU really want. Except maybe for the obvious. Your W will magically wake up and be a perfect human being. NEWS FLASH this is not going to happen magically. Before we can answer you need to decide what do you want.
I have told you to go dark previously. I have not changed my view on that. Your answer to my last post was that you did not want to wait 3 months much less 3 years.
Again MLC is not for the faint of heart. It is not a short term fix. There are no tricks. You said your W is borderline personality. Is she getting any treatment for this? This is one of the worst mental illnesses there are. My niece has this disease and she is basically incurable.
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I guess I need to hear what to specifically say to her when she justs shows up and acts like this is a normal R?
How about go get Psychiatric help.(I realize this is not DB advice but she has major problems)
IMHO you should probably leave your M. But that is not my place to give you that advice.
