1. I don't know him and I don't want to say something to him because the picture that has been drawn of me by OW and H is that I am crazy and the one who is not wanting us to work so I am thinking he would think I am just making it up.
2. OW's H knows that she stays during the week with H, and from what I understand, and it could be a lie, he also knows about everything else and does not care because OW swears there is no sex, just friends.
OW's H is part of the problem because he is also getting the best of everything. OW won't divorce him because they have too much debt, and she lost her job so she has not way of getting insurance and with no family close by, no one to help her out because H doesn't have extra money to help her pay her bills. So he still gets his wife, but if they fight, he ships her to my H who calms her down, and then when she is "happy" again goes back to her H. OW's H gets to go out and drink (he has a drinking problem) with his buddies (works at a college) then goes home to W and if she isn't there he knows where she is and that at some point she will be home. In that aspect, H is being played too, but he doesn't care.
New events - H and I are going to meet today. I have written out exactly what I would like to say and talk about. I am going to keep everything factual and just lay out the options. I want him to choose and that is it. He has said today and previously, I just want you to tell me what to do because I can't decide, then not deciding is deciding to stay apart and that is a choice he will have to live with. I can this way at least get the keys back to the house and work out the other stuff as well. He said today that he has been so sick all month and went to the doctor who can't find out why...DUH IT IS GUILT and STRESS! Either way I am calm and ready. I have had a good day at work, and I just have to find someone at watch S for me while H and I talk. I know I may be wrong, but I don't want to get to a year without any progress at all. HE is still saying exactly waht he did one year ago when this all started, I don't know what I want, and I don't know what is wrong with me.
I will say, one good thing he once again said "I am sorry I have failed as a husband". This is the first time he has not even tried to explain away what he has done or anything else. He is owning up and saying sorry (after I caught him), but still progress.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
