flowmom,
Thank you for the advice. I don't want to go around telling everyone (family and friends) to hurt him. I have informed a few close friends already.

I'm thinking for me, not telling everyone is huge 180 on my part. When I first suspected OW, I told everyone, which pushed my H right out the door. So I think it would suprise him that I'm NOT telling everyone. And I think he'll worry that I'm going to, which will make him finally start owning his guilt.

Together 16 years
Married 12 years
Me 36
H 34
D9 & S6
Separated 12/3/09
Confirmed A 1/25/10
Exposed A 1/26/10
H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10