Hopeless feelings

[flowmom]

mb28, it sounds like a hard conversation, not the outcome you hoped for I'm sure. From what I've read on the forum, maintaining the option of reconciling requires a huge amount of effort on the part of the LBS in terms of walking a fine line between setting boundaries but also leaving the door open. I'm not sure that an "I give up, it's up to you to decide" attitude on your part does leave the door open to reconciliation. Not fair of course.

I feel uneasy about the idea of your revealing to OWH. Of course he has the right to know, but you should only do that if it's clear that it's in your interest. As far as other people knowing, I also think that's tricky. Eventually everyone may know. But if your hope of reconciling comes to pass, think of everyone knowing about the A, having judgements not only about your H but about you for taking him back, etc. Once you open that box, you can't close it again. I think in your situation I would reveal to a few close friends for my own support, not as a R strategy to make H suffer. But I haven't BTDT like some of the wise folks who are advising you on this thread, so take with a big lump of salt.