How can things between TWO people be fixed when each individual (you and your W in this case) still seem to have so many personal issues?
You have to start accepting the odds are not high that she will ever come around. You pitched your fit about OM a month ago. Do you think she is still seeing OM(s) but now just doing so in a more quiet and less blatant manner?
It's hard to understand what you are backsliding from. You don't set boundaries, you have very high expectations when any civil exchange happens between you and your W, you admitted just a few posts ago you do not have inner strength and you have not reached a place of acceptance.
Everything your W is doing is for her and her only. You must start thinking logically. You have said yourself she was paying a ton out of pocket for health insurance. So she took a 30K pay cut and now might need help? If you add up what she was paying in insurance against 30K are the figures close? If so then she should be just fine and if she isn't, well, it's not your problem.
Turn it around on her... let her know now that she has secured a job and a place to live you think it is best if you and her cease contact for a few weeks (aside from necessary child related issues) so you can decide what you want to do regarding your marriage.
She is setting herself up for a very comfortable divorce IMO.
