I've hit a wall.. Now what?

[trytryagain]

talia,

i also wish there was some cure-all for the loneliness i feel. filling up my time and doing things like running, spending time with friends, going to museums, that only helps until i go home to my empty apartment. i found myself sobbing to the dog last night, because i MISS him. i miss the physical presence of my H, i miss hearing him breathe next to me, i miss getting ready for work with him in the mornings, i miss coming home to him at night.

i find myself talking to god a lot when i get lonely and i feel overwhelmed. as supportive as my family is, they can't spend every night with me and hold my hand until this hole in my heart gets smaller. as wonderful as my friends are, they can't be at my home, waiting for me to get there after work to take those lonely feelings away.

don't let it consume you. it's not about distracting yourself. it's about distancing yourself. detaching. like you said, it's a long and hard process. in church this past sunday, my revered said that faithfulness at a time when things seem most bleak is what allows us to persevere. find that faithfulness in yourself. i'm working on doing the same thing.