You have already commented on her new job via text and in person.
You certainly exhibited support when you agreed to help her financially.
It is really hard to understand why you would even want to send this. You W knows you love her and want her back. She knows you will not set boundaries with her. She knows you are an available option yet has not pursued any sort of R w/you other than very casual friendship and co-parenting. While this may hurt she didn't even acknowledge you when you suggested you and her try one of the restaurants she likes to eat at w/her friends.
You never really addressed my post y'day. When you go down/worried/nervous about one thing (in this case a job) you seem to cling to your W even more. It is a pattern and not a good one IMO.
CG, I guess I do lean more back towards her when out of a job and that is not good. But at the same time, I do want things to be fixed with us even when I have a job. I guess I grow tired of waiting for her to come around and at times ti causes be to back slide.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
YOU don't need this flaky, mean, vindictive, cheating, lying woman!
I don't consider her to be these things. I think she went through a rough time for a while and she went haywire. I think she is starting to level out again.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
How can things between TWO people be fixed when each individual (you and your W in this case) still seem to have so many personal issues?
You have to start accepting the odds are not high that she will ever come around. You pitched your fit about OM a month ago. Do you think she is still seeing OM(s) but now just doing so in a more quiet and less blatant manner?
It's hard to understand what you are backsliding from. You don't set boundaries, you have very high expectations when any civil exchange happens between you and your W, you admitted just a few posts ago you do not have inner strength and you have not reached a place of acceptance.
Everything your W is doing is for her and her only. You must start thinking logically. You have said yourself she was paying a ton out of pocket for health insurance. So she took a 30K pay cut and now might need help? If you add up what she was paying in insurance against 30K are the figures close? If so then she should be just fine and if she isn't, well, it's not your problem.
Turn it around on her... let her know now that she has secured a job and a place to live you think it is best if you and her cease contact for a few weeks (aside from necessary child related issues) so you can decide what you want to do regarding your marriage.
She is setting herself up for a very comfortable divorce IMO.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
It has been getting to you since day 1. There is not a reason in the world for you to be staying in this situation yet you choose to. Fine, your choice but don't complain when the hits keep on coming.
Do you think your W has cut off all contact with all other OM(s) or do you think she is simply not being so open about it?
Did she have enough respect for you as a CO-PARENT to discuss how to tell the children they would be moving and going to a new school BEFORE she told them (and you) at your daughter's b-day dinner?
j/k