Good job on the supportive Rabbit. Hugs will help him feel supported while he deals with his own problems. Way to not fix in a loving way. Yes I am copying you. You're a success!
Well tomorrow Mr Rabbit comes home for good, not sure if Im supposed to feel excited, scared, nervous, anticipatory, what am I supposed to feel.
1) I felt maybe a home coming celebration was in order? No he left me so perhaps he should be celebrating his return. Cant see that happening, he wants to be with me but not in this house and financially that isnt going to happen any time soon.
2) Carry on GAL on a wednesday night or come home and greet his return?
3) This is ridiculous feel like Im on a first date weve been married 23yrs and together 30!
arrhhhhhhh what do I do or feel Im floundering!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I am finding that is a difficult balance in piecing... I don't know when to pursue, when to GAL, when to validate and affirm, when to set a boundary, etc. I am going day by day with what seems right but, yeesh!
I think in your sitch, I would find a balance in between. I would be home to greet him to acknowledge that this is an important step, but not go overboard. Enjoy the evening together, enjoy each other's company but don't appear as though your whole existence depends on this by making it such a big deal.... IDK but that is my opinion...
I agree with RW - it's all about balance. I wouldn't disappear, but I'd avoid the big homecoming. He should be giving the celebration to you. I'd be there - but hey, why not arrive late? Like you're so busy but squeezed him in. He's important but not all important, know what I mean? Or you could be home but busy around the house doing things for yourself - let him work a bit to get your attention!
Rooting for you big time here.
Just as we have to press our hurt down low when they are around, we also have to press our excitement down. I would think you'd want to give the impression that just because he's home doesn't mean he can take you for granted. He's VERY LUCKY you took him back. Keep telling yourself that. Let him make all the first moves.
Since tomorrow will be H's first night home, maybe spend it at home with him but not act too overjoyed that he's back. Definitely continue your GAL activity the following week.
Good luck with H's homecoming.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Thanks girls for all the advice, I have managed to hold down the excitement all morning, no txt to say hi what are you doing, HES COMING HOME YIPPEE! opps did I say that lol!
Just calm and sensible and business as usual!
Actually whilst youve all got your thinking caps on what about Valentines day, its only two weeks away, dont want to do anything corny or twee, thought I'd get my mate to make me a valentines card so it was not overly lovey slushy and also had shown effort in having it made for him, and write my own words rather than rubbishy gooey stuff. Its a sunday so S wont be around, tempted to do another carpet picnic, but choose another theme, it was all spicy/saucy stuff last time. But am open to ideas.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
OH dear, you are going to have a fab valentine's day no matter what. How about letting him take the lead? You deserve a bit of a homecoming yourself!!!!
You're probably together right now - rooting for you!
Pleasant evening, came home to a shattered H so I organised tea and went and fetch it, got some champagne and chocolate and we had a pleasant evening snuggling.
When I mentioned the champagne, he asked if that was to celebrate his home coming, so I laughed and said "so should I be celebrating you coming home to me or should you be celebrating me letting you come home to me" well he laughed as if to say the first not the latter but it might have been embarrassement talking. He hasnt recognised at any time I have allowed him to come back he just doesnt seem to see it like that but neither does he see it that he has come home and I should be grateful, well only when jesting.
Later he mentioned it had been nice that I had not gone on my laptop and that I had organised tea and champagne and chocolate.
It was all very pleasant, no LM cos he is feeling a bit fragile, minor tummy bugs lurking in our house at the moment S has one already and H's is grumbling although mine seems to be ok thank goodness.
Anyway I suppose today is the first day of new things keeping every thing crossed we can sort this M out and make it work again.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
