Have you read Michele Davis' Divorce Remedy? You shouldn't be surprised about any of this if you have... I get the feeling you need to read a bit more about what's going on with your H.
He's not in a normal frame of mind right now, he's experiencing shock and he doens't konw how to cope with it.. his instincts just tell him to be cautious and put up a lot of walls... which is what he's doing.
You need to respect those walls until he decides to take them down. You can help him bring them down by just being a mature predictable adult like cutter is suggesting.
