I agree with some of what you've said, but the suggestion of applying the Four Agreements presupposes that I am uncertain of xW's and xMIL's intent. Let me be absolutely clear -- I know for certain what their motives and intentions are. I am assuming nothing. I have each of their patterns of behavior, words, deeds actions going back well over twenty years. I have xMIL's own admissions about previous husbands she's done this to. I have xW's own history.
Please don't assume that I am assuming.
Secondly, "blame"? Huh?!? To what is this in reference?
On being a father, I have chosen to be a father AND I have chosen to be obligated as a father. They're one and the same. My choice to become a father carries with it an obligation that I duly accepted. These cannot be separated -- except by shallow, self-centered people. So, again, I'm not sure what your point is.
And no, I am not being irrationally paranoid and thinking others are out to "get me". Quite the opposite. I merely observe that there are a large number of people who are out there for their own selves and will do anything they can get away with to have what they want, and they will screw anyone over who might happen to get in their way. I just happen to be in the line of fire from time to time, that's all. Otherwise they'd not give a rat's petard.
As such, I may get angry and vent, but I don't really take it "personally". I do observe the path of destruction they're on. And while they deem to destroy anyone who gets in their way, they fail to see that the real target of their destruction is themselves.
In general, I guess for once I'm not exactly sure where you're coming from.
