Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Tonight been different, not bad or good, just different. I'm not reading her very well tonight. I cannot figure out the mood.

First of all, W came home on time. Those of you that have been following me know that is a first in months. I got home 5 minutes before she did. I made sure to nicely tell her it was so nice to have her home early. I got an indifferent/whatever look which is exactly what i expected. We talked for a while about work, I made sure to listen intently and do little of the talking. She started dinner. Then she disappears to the bathroom and I'm left finishing dinner, getting the kids together etc. She tried to apologize and I just said I've got it all under control, don't worry.

Then the kids once again want to play their favorite rough house game with me after dinner and again I'm nice and tonight I decline and say we need to play something we all can do. No real reaction from W.

Kids in bed and she throws me for another loop. Says tonight she wants to work in the bedroom with the hopes it'll get us to bed earlier. Didn't see that one coming. Had it all in my mind about going out and then drawing her out of the basement. So now I type and debate going out. I had already told her I might, had put on jeans and everything. She asked me why I was going out for a drive and I said cause I want too. That got a quizzical look and then a whatever look. I then made sure not to seem angry/mad which I know I have to be careful of and think I was successful. Talked nicely to her a bit. She then implied that she'd like to be left alone in the room and I made some comment that drove home the point that I would minimize my trips in there, but I wasn't going to say I'm staying out of my own bedroom. She got the message and backpedalled a little. Now I actually plan on trying to stay out, cause if she backs up her words with actions, that would be a positive step that I don't want to discourage.

So I guess I am going to head out. I've now got a raging sweet tooth cause I've been thinking about ice cream for so long. Will either get ice cream or maybe something else and save the ice cream for another night.

After I get back, I'll send an e-mail using Sandi's words about the hotel room. I really think it would do us some good and I can do low pressure. I would just like to get away for an evening...change of scenery.