My Story...possible "grass is greener" scenario?

[sandi2]

I would break your post down bit by bit, but I don't think it would do any good. I've tried to tell you that "any" pursuing is "too much" pursuing and you just will not listen. She tells you also!

I told her that that might be how she's living her life with everything else but it didn’t seem to be how things were between her and I, as she continues to hesitate or pull back when it looks like we're headed in the right direction. She responded something about that’s because I keep pushing her.

You do! Why won't you leave her alone? Instead, you spend all that time with her and end up right back at the starting gate (not that you ever really got out, but now the gate has closed).

It doesn't matter how good you felt being with her! You have to follow the principles or forget it. You practically gave her your entire DR book vocally by telling her all that stuff. She doesn't want to hear it, and it hurts you to voice it. She wants you to put it into practice.

No, do not go back and restate the boundary again, b/c it is a very weak boundary. You might as well have told her that she can keep you around and do whatever she wants to do. All this wishy-washy stuff is hurting your case and the only hope I see in a positive R with her is to back off and go GAL and leave her alone!!

Haven't you ever had anyone to suggest having drinks sometime? It's like saying, "Let's do lunch one day". It doesn't mean a lot to most people b/c they are simply being nice and that's their way of saying good-bye. Hate to break it to you, but she wasn't interested.....and besides "you" pressed "her" about the drinks afterwards and it was the WRONG think to have done.

I have also told you that you cannot depend on that book about the 5 LL to do what the DR book does. You are not in the right place to do that right now. Look what your quality time got you! She was so turned off by your love-sick stares that she had to tell you!

I can't be your cheerleader until you can pull back and stop contacting her. You haven't been able to do that, so nothing else is going to work until you do that first 180.